These kinds of posts need to stop.
Something I find disturbing and confusing about "relationship goals" now a days, is that people are posting #goals on posts like this ^. If your idea of a healthy relationship consists of going through each others phones, deleting phone numbers of other people, and snooping on your significant other's social media, you will never be happy. That is not developing trust. That is developing possessiveness and mistrust.
I think it particularly bothers me because I have always had guy friends. Yes, PLATONIC guy friends. Another thing that needs to stop: The idea that girls and guys cannot be friends without the other one liking each other. And that girls who have guy friends are sluts. In high school, my best friend and I had 5 guy best friends. We were like a little family. We had sleepovers in the same bed (oooh shocker). But guess what? That's all it was. Whenever I tell someone this, they are truly shocked and most of the time don't believe me.
Because I have experienced a platonic best friendship with several guys, the over protective boyfriend/girlfriend posts especially bother me. This is teaching people (easily impressionable people) that over protectiveness is OK. That if your significant other wants you to cut people out of your life, its OK. That if they want you to ditch hanging out with you friends to hang out with them, its OK. That if they have a friend of the opposite sex, they are trying to be unfaithful. It's NOT okay.
There's a saying that the guilty one is usually the one to point the finger. I actually learned about this in AP Psych my junior year in high school, it all started to make sense. It's called projection. I always wondered why my boyfriend my freshman year would always accuse me of texting other guys. I later found out he cheated on me with 4 other girls. The guilty person KNOWS they're guilty, they are therefore paranoid, and project their guilt onto you.
Now, I'm not one to say what exactly a "healthy relationship" is, but I think I can determine when it is not.
Possessiveness is not cute. Teach your peers about independence, respect, and privacy. Being in a relationship doesn't require you to give full detail about every person you've been with, it doesn't require you to delete every person of the opposite sex off your phone, and it definitely doesn't require you to make that person your world. Be your own world, they're just a part of it.
I've been told I'm "shut off" and selfish my entire life, because I refuse to make another person my world. Call me selfish, tell me I'm never going to find true love, that's fine. But the only person I live to please is myself.
Something I find disturbing and confusing about "relationship goals" now a days, is that people are posting #goals on posts like this ^. If your idea of a healthy relationship consists of going through each others phones, deleting phone numbers of other people, and snooping on your significant other's social media, you will never be happy. That is not developing trust. That is developing possessiveness and mistrust.
I think it particularly bothers me because I have always had guy friends. Yes, PLATONIC guy friends. Another thing that needs to stop: The idea that girls and guys cannot be friends without the other one liking each other. And that girls who have guy friends are sluts. In high school, my best friend and I had 5 guy best friends. We were like a little family. We had sleepovers in the same bed (oooh shocker). But guess what? That's all it was. Whenever I tell someone this, they are truly shocked and most of the time don't believe me.
Because I have experienced a platonic best friendship with several guys, the over protective boyfriend/girlfriend posts especially bother me. This is teaching people (easily impressionable people) that over protectiveness is OK. That if your significant other wants you to cut people out of your life, its OK. That if they want you to ditch hanging out with you friends to hang out with them, its OK. That if they have a friend of the opposite sex, they are trying to be unfaithful. It's NOT okay.
There's a saying that the guilty one is usually the one to point the finger. I actually learned about this in AP Psych my junior year in high school, it all started to make sense. It's called projection. I always wondered why my boyfriend my freshman year would always accuse me of texting other guys. I later found out he cheated on me with 4 other girls. The guilty person KNOWS they're guilty, they are therefore paranoid, and project their guilt onto you.
Now, I'm not one to say what exactly a "healthy relationship" is, but I think I can determine when it is not.
Possessiveness is not cute. Teach your peers about independence, respect, and privacy. Being in a relationship doesn't require you to give full detail about every person you've been with, it doesn't require you to delete every person of the opposite sex off your phone, and it definitely doesn't require you to make that person your world. Be your own world, they're just a part of it.
I've been told I'm "shut off" and selfish my entire life, because I refuse to make another person my world. Call me selfish, tell me I'm never going to find true love, that's fine. But the only person I live to please is myself.